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| So I've written one hundred poems and I'm in the process of editing/organizing them.
I've got many papers to write for my classes.
I'm in the process of writing two, and I've got three more.
bah
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Times come and go where I stop and wonder if this is the life that I want.
Do I want to study this, or that?
Do I want to work here, or there?
Is this the kind of work I can stand doing, or is it a stepping stone?
Where's God in this picture, how can I include him?
Do I want this relationship?
What about this friendship?
Who do I keep in contact with?
Then there are a different extra set of questions that determine the frequency, intensity and the importance of the previously said questions...
Can I live with my body?
How much time do I have?
Will things get worse, better?
How do I live with my body?
How does my body affect everyone I come in contact with?
To be honest I'm so lost.
sometimes the only place I can call home, is in poetry
sometimes the only place I understand, is in song
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| There is a difference between 'Peace' used in the context of lack of conflict
and the 'Peace' that means wholeness, or 'Positive Peace'.
You can have 'Peace' and be empty.
God's Peace though, is overwhelmingly filled with wholeness. | | |
| I'm going to write a crazy memoir one day. Hopefully I wont die young, or if I start to die when I'm young, I'll have the strength to write it. I'd blow people away.
In humbler news:
hahahahaha..I love Redwall :)
Someone started playing radiohead where I was working today, and I was like "Hey, is that their 'in rainbows' album?" they replied that it was, and the conversation ended there. I was really disappointed. Every time I meet a radiohead fan I want to talk to them and see what kind of a person they are.
I owe my parents, and possibly some others of you a post explaining why I posted an xkcd comic below.
I love my parents very much. This is because we are on much more of a friend-based relationship now instead of parent-child. They listen to me, and I listen to them. I respect them because they, first, began to respect me. So I was in a bit of a conundrum when they complained about me posting the following comic:
They said it was vulgur, offensive, unnecessary and that I would regret posting it because it might negatively affect my reputation in the distant future. I would like to publicly apologize to them right now, because I agree with them, but I still can't take it down. Originally when we talked about it, my mother asked me to post a post explaining myself, as I had done to them. My father on the other hand grudgingly asked me to post an explanation as wel but he later on asked me again to just remove it. I, wrongly, jockingly asked him how long he was going to keep bothering me about it. See, although there is an original principal behind why I won't take it down...there's also a part of me which instinctually wants to clash with my dad who I'm very much alike (which my mom pointed out to me recently).
1) Having suffered many different episodes of traumatic and difficult health related hurdles I look at the human body in a practical way. A vagina has it's functions and uses just like your big toe and your ear. Granted it's a bit more valuable than either, and granted I don't have one, but I don't find saying either vagina or penis as taboo/wrong. I wouldn't go around saying them any old place because (a) people would get bothered and (b) I would have no reason too say them. But if there's a reason for naming them, I'll name them by their medical name. There's a bajilion different slang names and I think it's preferable and polite to use their medical references. I also think it's childish/naive/exhaustingly meticulous to specifically not to say the name of the body part out of an arbitrary mystical aura that is associated with it, [usually] because of conservative upbringing. But really, it's just a body part. It's not disgusting, and it's not mind blowing interesting. We're just spirits in bodies in the big grand old universe. God is not offended when one uses the word, or mentioning of the body part, if you would like to be convinced of this--there are several Songs of Solomon verses I can cite.
2) There are a lot of slang words that could have been used, but were not. This I think was done on purpose, to draw attention to the point of the comic. The man is wearing what looks like a beret (random) and is hanging from his knees on a tree branch. He addresses the standing man with an almost existentialist question. "You were once shoved headfirst through someone's vagina. Why are you acting so dignified?" One meaning behind this questions is this: Life is obviously not so serious, so don't take it so. There are many ironies packed in this comic. [irony meaning incongruity, an outcome contrary to what was expected, objectively humorously sardonic disposition/quality. Irony is useful because humans recognize/organize their world by what it is/what it is not] It's ironic that human life comes out of such a painful and horrifying act such as giving birth. It's ironic that so much of life revolves around sex--which is fun [yet many would claim is also, ironically very serious. Can fun be serious?] yet humans continue to exist out of the painful/exhausting act of carrying and birthing a child [a result of sex]. Humanity exists because of a series of fun, but serious, painful yet beautiful set of actions. If life is so chock full of contradicting actions, why should we act so dignified as if everything is serious? Shouldn't we act appropriately, and hold life lightly, enjoying it for what it is —not what we mistakenly dress it up to be? It's surely not all seriousness. Life is circular, we were born from the womb and then go on to impregnate a womb. It's not wrong, it's not all serious, it's life, it's a circus [which comes from the greek, meaning "circle, ring"].
I truly do believe this; life is not all serious. I've gone through some pretty horrific stuff and I can tell you that life is hilarious and ironic to the point of cruelty sometimes. I will happily get in trouble for this post, if it should happen to damage me in the future. It would be ironic if I did. It would be ironic if I decided to take people seriously and remove this post right now. You see my quandary... my dilemma. This is why I laugh. | | |
| I'm a home!
You're listening to "Lost" by Pogo
I like writing in the summer. | | |
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